What I’ve learned from being Single


Well, I’m single and pretty much have always been so I think it’s best to say that I am a professional single person. I spend my friday nights (Like tonight) watching Netflix with my pumpkin spice chai, and a big blanket just like every other single girl. NO, I do not have a cat, or seven. Yes, I’ve heard the cliches, like this one:

single ladies


And I get it, please don’t mention it again.

It angers me. I’ve gone out with all my friends and their boyfriends and felt the awkwardness that most of the time I created myself being the third, fifth, seventh or even ninth wheel. (I mean seriously vehicles cannot function like that its a good analogy).  So, mostly this post is to say…if you’re single..I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!

But it’s also because Im angry that single ladies get a bad wrap in today’s society, and I think it’s time we put an end to it! I mean if we had our way we wouldn’t be single right ladies? But right now we have to own up to our good name and stop being defined by our relationship status! It’s okay to be single. It really is.

Here are some things I learned from being a professional single person:

1. And this is the most important rule. Pants are overrated.  Being single means friday nights, coming home and spending the whole weekend without pants if you want to.  Wearing an oversized t-shirt is my favorite form of pajamas, single people have it made when it comes to nightwear.




Also, this is pretty nice too:



2. Time. it’s all yours. Seriously, you get to schedule your time, and choose when and where you go and who you their with. With a significant other their schedule gets involved and the word COMPROMISE gets involved.

3.  Independence. Being single has allowed me to fend for myself and learn how to stand my ground in the world. I’ve never had a man to depend on, so I know even in the rough times in the future I can be alone and depend on myself.

4. In all honesty, Loneliness sucks. I’ve spent many nights alone in my apartment in my own loneliness wishing I had someone to share my life with. That loneliness has forced me to go out and make new friends, take myself out to dinner, go on coffee dates with myself, even shop by myself. All of these little outings revealed to me that I am never truly alone.

5. YOU DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL. I think that is general misconception. I am beautiful and single. Two separate things. Just because you are single doesn’t mean that you aren’t attractive. It’s corny and no single lady wants to hear this but, the right man will come and tell you you’re beautiful but until then keep showing off your beauty to the world so he may see it when he comes along.




6. Men get lost. A wise women once said “My man is lost and won’t ask for directions.” Patience sucks but if God put the desire in your heart to love someone in that way, you best believe he will fill it. It just might not be on your timing because let’s face it, men never ask for directions. I’d rather have a relationship on God’s timing than my own, he is preparing me for a man. And he is preparing that man for me. I don’t want a man God has only half prepared for me, I want nothing but the best.

7. I don’t like cats.  Not all single ladies are destine to be CAT LADIES.  I would much prefer to be a “dog lady”.

8. Being single means never having to do this:

single 2

8.  Jealousy sucks. Yes, when I go out with my friends I can get jealous from time to time especially if I’m the third wheel. Their cute, the kind of cute that single girls vomit over. They only say it’s gross to deflect from the fact that secretly, or not so secretly, they want all of it. Even the twinkling noses, or saying “no you hang up” for 10 minutes straight. We all want to win the “cutest couple award”.

9.  Being single allows you to decided what kind of man you’ll change your relationship status for. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of person I want to share my life with solely by seeing other couples interact and seeing the reasons relationships fall apart.

10. EVERY NIGHT IS GIRLS NIGHT! I mean unless it’s not. But, every night COULD be a girls night.

11. There are so many cute boys to look at. Nows the time, Ladies, take advantage of the sights!


And finally.

12.Sometimes you have to take action. Let’s face it, if you’re tired of being single, sometimes only you are the one that can change that. Go meet new people, if you thing one is too cute for words, tell him. Who knows what a compliment could do.  Just maybe don’t act  like this:


So I hope this help those single ladies out there tonight. Even though sometimes it may feel like you are not going to turn out like this:


(I mean, unless you choose that lifestyle).

Let’s go out there ladies, and be single, and ready to mingle!

(My goal is before I get a boyfriend to master this dance, it may not be a realistic goal).



#PFSMS: You are Poetry

God's living property.

I found this quote on Pinterest, via my mom so thanks mom! It has really encouraged me this week as I struggled with self confidence upon starting a new semester. I have struggled with confidence issues since I was in middle school.  I think if we are all honest, there are things we are not fond of about ourselves. I can off the top of my head think of at least five things  I would change about myself if given an easy solution.

The things I would change are temporal. They are based on set of expectations place upon me by the media, by my culture. Expectations no one can meet considering even models are photoshopped these days. These insecurities can hold people captive, and lead to self loathing. Women especially in this society are programed to think that failure to reach these narrow standards of beauty, will make them undesirable. Their skin must be perfect, their hair the right style, their clothes from a certain brand and a certain size.  And even if we are that size there is always that 10 pounds we want to lose right ladies?

This quote from Pam Carbungco shows you what God sees when he looks at us. Beautiful, living poetry. Let’s break that down shall we?


adjective \ˈbyü-ti-fəl\

 :  having qualities of beauty:  exciting aesthetic  pleasure
:  generally pleasing : excellent: of a very high standard
  • po·et·ry

    noun \ˈpō-ə-trē, -i-trē also ˈp(-)i-trē\

    : something that is very beautiful or graceful

    :  writing that formulates a concentrated imaginative awareness of experience in language chosen and arranged to create a specific emotional response through meaning, sound, and rhythm

    You are God’s poetry, his concentrated imaginative awareness of experience in language chosen and arranged specifically to form you. You have meaning. You are of very high standard. You are excellent.  You are pleasing to the senses and mind.

    Just the way you are.

    No changes required. With God their is no size associated with your beauty, no makeup needed. He sees the darkest parts of your soul, even the stuff you cannot see and still calls you beautiful.

    In Song of Solomon 4:7 God says that “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”

    He says “She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her” in Proverbs 3:15

     And Let us not forget  “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) We are made in the image of him. If we believe God to be the God of the universe, why would we want to change how he created us? You look the way you are at this time because God created you to be this way. Just like when you look back at middle school photos and cringe, he created you in his image their as well. (Though circa 2007, my fashion choices were not so pleasant. ) You are beautiful because God is beautiful.

    You are God’s poetry. His work of art. Live your life as such. And don’t apologize to society for being different than it’s standards. When I look to God, there is nothing I would change about myself. He fills in the cracks where I am lacking and makes me whole.

    So when you approach Monday feeling down on your self. Think of the most beautiful poem you read. Imagine how inconceivably more beautiful God’s poetry is. And I am his poetry.

    In the words of Beyonce “I woke up like this… FLAWLESS”.


Since my transferring to my new university I have embarked on this new adventure called abstraction. Well, even more so nonrepresentational studies which focuses more on the experience the artist has creating the piece than the overall result of the piece itself. I find this work to be quite fascinating because the success or failure of the piece isn’t the primary focus. The doing or action of making the piece is the main focus.

My biggest inspiration for my current work is Cy Twombly. His work is beautiful in the sense that when standing in front of his piece you see his experience. You are overwhelmed by the slashes, the motion it took to make that mark on the page. Their large scale takes up the entirety of your vision exploding with color and brush strokes.

ib 5

(Here’s an example of his work)

Here are some of my current more current works on abstraction:


Painting with Beyonce: Oils: 24×30    ( I only listened to Beyonce’s new album in the making of this painting)


Inspired by Twombly 1 of 4: Oils: 18×24


Inspired by Twombly 2 0f 4: Oils: 18x 24


Inspired by Twombly 3 of 4: Oils: 18×24


Inspired by Twombly 4 of 4: oils: 18×24

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

This latest painting I did for my new apartment took a different turn than my previous works. I added thread to the piece after the initial painting dried; embroidering sections to carry heavier visual weight, and fringe coming out from the canvas giving the painting visual depth and a slightly sculptural element.




Let me know what you think of these pieces, as I grasp on this process head on in the upcoming semester.